I am not a family therapist nor someone who has triumphed over addiction. I am a parent, medical provider and retired military veteran, turned certified professional coach for family recovery and personal development as well as a fierce advocate for substance use disorder care and treatment.

When my son’ struggle with addiction began, I did everything I thought a responsible parent was supposed to do. I powered up. I yelled, cried, worried, pleaded, punished, tried tough love. I controlled everything I could — his choices, his consequences. And still, I could not “fix” him.

What I didn’t see — not at first — was what all of that was doing to me. The more I poured myself into fixing his life, the more I lost grip on my own. Little by little, I stopped recognizing myself.

It wasn’t until I stopped trying to fix him that I realized: my reactions were my issues. My peace, my joy, my life — they were never his to define. His disorder did not get to write my story.

That’s when everything shifted.

Out of love, necessity, and a whole lot of ferocity, I became a voracious learner — reading everything, attending workshops and trainings, engaging in support groups, and connecting with every parent who would talk to me. What I gathered wasn’t just information.  It was hard-won wisdom, earned in the deep and sometimes desperate places only a parent in this situation truly knows.

And then — I found my way to emotional recovery.  And my son — well, he is on his way too.

I believe too deeply in the power of community to keep any of what I’ve learned or experienced to myself. So here I am — a parent who has been where you are passing on everything handed to me, so you too can find your way to emotional recovery filled with peace, joy, clarity, and a whole lot of unconditional lovin’.